My Spiritual Battle!

The last months of 2014 and the start of 2015 has been a struggle for me. I have been hitting a lot of road blocks lately and I would give up and walk away. That’s not who I am! I shouldn’t let road blocks stop me from reaching my goals. My health journey has fallen to the back burner as well as many other things. I’m not writing this to have anyone feel sorry for me; I’m writing this to hold myself accountable for my actions.   I have been facing a struggle with my faith b/c I’m wondering if I did something to anger God. Why so many road blocks?  The struggle with my faith has me doubting God and I don’t want to doubt him. He has and continues to provide for my family and me.  I’m that person who is strong in front of others, but once I’m alone I break down.  There are so many emotions I’m feeling right now and I don’t want this letter to be all about my setbacks.  Over the last week, God has reminded me how much he truly does love me.  I saw this poem on a friend’s Facebook page and it was a great reminder. I’m weak and I need God more than ever and pushing him away will only make me weaker. I’m by far perfect and I have sinned, but he believes in me. When I stumble and push him to the side, he is always there to be my guide. I refuse to sit back and let me goals and my faith take a beating b/c something doesn’t go my way.

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I saw another post on Facebook and it was another great reminder. He knows me more than I know myself. I’m going to keep my head up b/c he believes in me. I’m HIS STRONG CHRISTIAN SOLDIER!

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My weight loss journey has hit more and more blocks, but I’m not going to stop trying to reach my goal. I have I gained weight yes but I’m going to work hard to get back on track. TODAY IS NEW DAY SO WHY AM I WAITING FOR TOMORROW!  He has made me for so much more and I’m not going to waste what he has given me.

THIS IS MY FIGHT SONG

I will not let Satan win!

I WILL NOT BE OR FEEL DEFEATED ANYMORE!

I HAVE TOO MUCH FIGHT IN ME TO JUST GIVE UP!

I’m sure I sound like a broken record, but I’m human and I mess up. I’m weak and I wanted to do it my way, but doing it my way isn’t working for me. I’m putting God back on the front line of this battle b/c I cant do it without him. I’m not going to fight him anymore, he will be first in my life. I get lost in the every day life’s ups and downs, but he always finds me. I’m going to wake up and give THANKS to him everyday. No more focusing on the negative, but more on the positive! I don’t know where I’m going but I have to step out on faith and trust God.

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“Sometimes you have to stop worrying, wondering, and doubting. Have faith that things will work out, maybe not how you planned, but just how its meant to be”. unknown.

Yours Truly,

Amanda

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