In June my grandma moved in with me b/c her home was sold. I love having her here, but the last month or so has been struggle. I’m use to having a routine, I’m use to having a schedule each day I wake up. I don’t like change! When I have a plan and it unfolds b/c of things I have no control over, it frustrates me. When I feel like I’m alone I go to want comforts me; FOOD. Even though I have so many wonderful people in my life I keep things inside. I take the issue or issues and put them away until I’m ready to deal with it. I guess I do this b/c it gives me some type of control. Once everything inside me builds up, I explode and I become this ugly person.
During this week being off on vacation and spending time with family, I reflected on my life, my behavior, and my relationship with God. Satan sees me growing, so he throws rocks to block me from moving forward on my journey. I may stand there wondering why does this always happen. Every rock represents a struggle, a worry, a stress, and even my past mistakes.
Satan thinks he has won the battle as I take one step backwards and turn around, but what he doesn’t know is that I’m not the same girl I use to be. I take few more steps back only to run toward those ROCKS and climb over. ” Now the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ Jesus, will personally restore, establish, strengthen, and support you”. 1 Peter 5:10
I have never felt more alive knowing my Father. I battle each day, but I’m not alone. Some think that once you become a Christian your life is perfect, but there is no such thing as a perfect life. I’m a Christian, but I sin just like the next person. I’m not perfect, but there is a difference in who I was and who I am now. He personally restored, established, strengthen me.
When I’m scared and I don’t know how to stand, I need to look up and remember that he is there. I don’t want to be someone who’s satisfied with occasional visits to church on Sunday morning. I need to build a relationship with God that grows stronger each day. My story isn’t over and is still being told and I want my love for God to show to everyone I meet.
T25 is has been put on hold for now, but I will continue to workout each morning. I enjoy running, its crazy that I say that. I would have never thought I could run 2 miles without collapsing. The feeling I get from running is amazing. I feel strong and powerful when I run. I want other women no matter their size to know their worth!!! I was almost 260 pounds and I’m now 216. Anything is possible as long as you trust in the Father. I’m not running away from something, I’m running toward something.