I’m currently taking a group study at church called Gluttony & God and one of the assignments was to pray to God and ask him how he saw me by using a word or statement. As women we tear ourselves down constantly. When I heard the assignment I got nervous and every negative thought popped in my head. My friend Andrea wanted me to pray and ask God for a word or statement that says me, its crazy but that’s when Satan attacked me. As a Christian I still struggle with sin each day, but I have to ask God to help me each day. I refused to put God first when it came to the things I loved and that included food.
I had friends, but at a young age movies and food became my close friends. I would go through life joking and making wise cracks about myself and to be honest I still do. I didn’t think I was pretty and I would always put myself down. I didn’t love who I was and that reflected on the outside. I thought as I got older that in order for me to feel love I would have to lower my standards and myself, so I did. Once I got out of high school the choices I was making were not healthy for me in anyway. Even though I had family who loved me, I didn’t love who I was. The love from family and friends is different than the love you should have for yourself.
I prayed and ask God how he saw me then during lunch I pulled out my journal and it said; “Beautifully Made and LOVED by God”. Even though I’m critical of myself and I don’t see what he sees, I do know I will be there soon. He told me that I’m beautifully made and that I’m loved by him. WOW! This journey isn’t like the others b/c I’m finally putting God first in my choices. It’s not easy, but what is easy. My poor choices and not loving myself doesn’t just affect me, its affects the people around me. Recently my sister and I went out, she took pictures of me and the first thing out of my mouth was “I Look Horrible”, “Don’t post that picture”, and“My nose is so big”. My son beats himself up sometimes too; I want Zay to love who he is. I want him to know that he is Beautifully Made and Loved by God. I need to learn to love my flaws and embrace who I am so that it shows on the outside.
“God is working in ME giving ME the desires and the power to do what pleases him” Philippians 2:13
“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, who you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. 1Corinthians 6:19
“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the GLORY of God” 1 Corinthians 10:31
I’m beautifully made and loved by God, so I need to remember that my temple was brought at a price. I need to take care and love myself to reflect my LOVE for GOD.